Did you hear all the ruckus earlier this week? There we were, trying to get a little extra shut-eye, when all of sudden, clatterty-bangety-boom! So we sprang from our beds to see what was the matter, tore to the window, and threw up the sash. We gotta quit eating sash.

It always upsets our tummies.

But outside? What a mess! Not only had Jack fallen down and broken his crown — and with the price of crowns these days it’s no wonder every dentist is vacationing in the Cayman Islands — but the pesky groundhog had sent the metal trash totes atop of his burrow flying every which way when he burst out and declared 60 degrees on Christmas meant only one thing.

Spring had arrived three months early.

So we dug out the leaf blower, filled her with petrol, cranked her up to the Category 5 hurricane setting, and in nothing flat had the lawn spic and span again. And we were feeling pretty good about it, until our neighbor —he’s the spittin’ image of Bluto from Popeye — showed up. Seems he didn’t cotton to the Christmas gift of leaves we’d sent his way. For he barehanded twisted our wind machine into something that looked like a balloon animal. He’d be right at home on the Ann Arbor City Council, which last week subjected gas-powered leaf blowers in the city to the Edgar Alan Poe treatment.

Nevermore.

They’re a menace to the community, council declared. They’re dirty and noisy, emit noxious odors, and endanger life and limb. Get ‘em outta here; they’re crazy. Then to prove they’re not heartless cads, they issued a partial stay on the ban until January 2028 — to give people time to adjust. But until then gas-fueled blowers can only be used between October and May. Because In Ann Arbor, leaves never fall in June, July, August, or September. Nor do grass clippings ever wind up on sidewalks — or get removed by blowers — during the summer months. And for those who dare protest they can’t afford to buy battery-operated replacements comes a response straight out of Dickens.

Have you no brooms?

Mercifully, attempts to restrict blower use to the 7 a.m. to 6 p.m. timeframe — apparently nobody in Ann Arbor holds a job during those hours ‚ failed to pass muster. Neither did a short-lived effort to fully institute the ban by 2025. And lest you think this is just a one-shot deal, several on council are already chomping at the bit to give gas-powered mowers the heave-ho, too. Which means they are no doubt also making plans for the unveiling of good ol’ A-squared’s new name.

Goat City, USA.

It’s not that far-fetched. Gas-powered lawn implements are already outlawed or severely restricted in multiple cities. And lawmakers in some states are getting into the act, too. Beginning in 2024, California will no longer allow the sale of new small gasoline engines. And just this month, two Washington state representatives proposed legislation — and we’re not kidding — that would fine anyone using a gas-powered mower, weed whacker or snowblower $10,000 for each violation.

Plus a year in the county jail.

Creating change through attrition — Home Depot recently announced 85 percent of its outdoor lawn implements will be electric-only by 2028 — is one thing. But local ordinances and state laws that force folks to ditch perfectly good gas powered-devices before they’ve outlived their usefulness — while planes, trains, and automobiles continue to belch pollution left and right — tend to get under Bluto’s skin. And you know what?

He’s pretty good at twisting the battery-operated ones into balloon animals, too.

— Talk Back with Doug Spade and Mike Clement is heard every Saturday morning from 9 a.m. to noon Eastern Time at localbuzzradio.com, Facebook Live and dougspade.com.

This article originally appeared on The Holland Sentinel: Talk Back: Do you need batteries with that?