Like many kids his age, my 5-year-old loves wearing nail polish. Sam makes me paint each fingernail a different color: a mint green, a sparkly navy, deep violet, and two different shades of pink. It astounds me that he’s capable of sitting patiently at the dining table for a full 10 minutes while his nails dry. (He can keep still for 30 seconds during dinnertime.)

I don’t know who my son will love or how he’ll identify as he grows, but I’m grateful both of my children live in Croton-On-Hudson, our small village in upper Westchester that largely supports the LGBTQ community. After learning about Pride at her elementary school last year, I asked my 8-year-old daughter what Pride is about, and she responded: “It’s about being proud to be yourself.”

Last week, three parents within my children’s school district, Croton Harmon, filed a lawsuit — with the support of the national anti-DEI organization, Parents Defending Education — with the argument that their children have the right to not use the pronouns that transgender or nonbinary students identify with, claiming free speech violations.

This comes a year after the New York State Department of Education updated its guidance to protect gender-expansive students’ desire to be addressed by their correct pronouns. The guidance reads: “The student is in charge of their gender transition and the school’s role is to provide support.”

I first learned about the lawsuit when I ran into a fellow district parent who has a gender-expansive child.

“Did you see this?” she said, handing me her phone to read the headline. “I’m a wreck about it.”

We were at a school function which should have been joyful.

“I’m sure it will get thrown out of court,” she askedm “but what if it intimidates the district?”

She, and several other parents, have been working hard to create a safe environment for LGBTQ youth in the schools.

Our district is not the first to be targeted by the organization, which has been filing lawsuits against various school districts across the country in the interest of further propelling the DEI backlash that has been dominating the public conversation nationwide.

The irony is that while the parents behind the lawsuit claim their efforts to “depoliticize” the school district, in reality it will only create more division and polarization among the community — and distract the students from what they’re there for: to create a learning environment that is respectful and safe. It doesn’t feel unintentional that this lawsuit is being filed during Pride Month.

More importantly, what the parents behind this lawsuit haven’t considered are the dangerous consequences of their actions. Across the country, one in twenty young adults now identify as nonbinary or transgender. But bullying is still rampant across the country: In 2019, nearly half of transgender youth have been bullied on school property. Studies also show bullying and discrimination have a direct impact on their mental health. In 2021, over half of trans and nonbinary youth have considered attempting suicide.

But LGBTQ youth who had access to spaces that affirm their sexual orientation and gender identity report lower rates of attempting suicide. Trans and nonbinary youth who reported having their pronouns respected by all the people they lived with attempted suicide at half the rate of those who did not have their pronouns respected by anyone with whom they lived.So, the research is clear: using the correct pronouns for trans and nonbinary youth — and respecting how they identify — can protect their mental health and even save lives. Does allowing our children to bully their peers really trump the safety and lives of our young people?

I’m thankful Croton Harmon School District isn’t taking the bait. In their statement in response to the lawsuit, they said: “[W]e see schools as places where students feel comfortable in, and celebrated for, their own identity and are positioned to make positive contributions to our society. Speech that is harmful to students … is not welcome in our schools, and does not align with our beliefs as a school district community. [W]e will not allow a lawsuit, or other extraneous political factors, to distract us from the work of making that vision into a reality for all of our students, staff members, and community.”

This is a stance to be proud of. And I feel safe knowing that as my kids grow up, they are learning in an environment where they are “proud to be themselves.” In other words, their humanity is accepted, and not endangered. Those are values we should all strive for for our children, and no bogus attempt to divide our beautiful and accepting community will take that away from us.

Vanessa Valenti is a media consultant and writer. She lives with her two children in Croton-on-Hudson.

This article originally appeared on Rockland/Westchester Journal News: Croton Harmon District’s anti-harassment policies save lives