I was young and living in sunny Coronado, California. My buddies and I decided to do a day trip to Tijuana, Mexico. We drove 30 minutes south and, surprisingly, we crossed into Mexico by walking through a spinning gate, almost like we were going into a theme park.

“Wow, that was way easier than I expected,” I thought.

The day went great and we went out to wander some local towns, which were rustic, dry, and full of animated people. We drank tequila, tried the local food, and enjoyed each other’s company.

Seven good hours later, we decided to head back — and faced the reality that getting into Mexico is much easier than getting into the United States. A weaving line stretched far out in front of me. I began huffing and puffing, wondering why the hell we’d decided to do this day trip in the first place.

We only waited about ninety minutes in the end, which wasn’t nothing. But the experience, and my attitude towards that line completely ruined the whole thing for me when I look back on it.

And like me, I suspect many of you have had to deal with painfully long wait times. What if we could better contend with these waits? The problem originates with “state boredom”, and how people largely misunderstand it. Here’s how to reverse it and to live better.

The corrosive effects of waiting on mood

Psychologist, Dr. David C. Jangraw, ran an experiment where they had people answer standard psychology questions online and then rate their mood periodically. Of note, the questions and tasks were relatively mundane and repetitive. On average, they found that people’s mood declined by 2% per minute (which they called “mood drift over time”). This is significant, given the sample pool included more than 28,000+ participants.

Your mood, scientifically, is defined by the cumulative sum of rewards and punishments you’ve felt. One of those punishments is waiting, and feeling intense boredom.

Boredom is generally defined as a lack of interest, stimulation or purpose. In my case, standing in the long line, staring at the back of another person’s head, in the heat, waiting to step a few steps forward, felt torturous — especially in context to the fun day we’d had in the city.

There are two key types of boredom. State boredom is, as the name implies, a state of being, an ephemeral mood that can pass at any given time. Trait boredom is the susceptibility one has to this boredom. Like people, some dogs tend to have it. For example, working dogs, like German and Australian shepherds, who are also smart and energetic, can be quite frustrating if they get bored because they get themselves into trouble and start breaking things.

But mostly — it’s state boredom you have to worry about as it’s far more common. The scary thing is that state boredom is correlated to a list of bad things: withdrawal from work, political extremism, frustration, distress, property damage, and a reduced motivation.

A key driver of state boredom is a lack of autonomy: You feel you have no control over a given situation. For example, as a kid, I had to do chores around the house, including cleaning, making beds, raking leaves, and more. It was excruciatingly boring, especially in context to the other things that needed to be done. My parents had to drag me to each task, and remind me to get back to cleaning, which I know was painful for them as well.

But if I had just focused on these tasks, and on doing them correctly, my life would have been so much better.

The other challenge is one of expectations. State boredom can be a result of you wanting everything to be wholly exciting or interesting at any given time — which is partly why people spend their free time scrolling on their phones in waiting rooms. They aren’t comfortable with just being.

Tricks to beat state boredom

One solution is to practice mindfulness. For example, I will just start to notice little things going on around me if I’m in an airport waiting for my flight. I’ll look at dynamics between people and couples, and wonder what is driving those interactions. I’ll wonder how the middle aged married couple has come to seemingly loathe each other as their kids play around them. What could have happened to get them to this point?

This shifts that sense of autonomy back to me. I am no longer at the mercy of some doctor or worker who is busy with other people. I’ve now claimed that time for my own use, and to use at my discretion, even if it’s through something subtle. I also remind myself, “Is my time that valuable? Am I really royalty? Am I using every second of my day to save lives?”

You can pivot this into something creative. For example, I have a notes app on my phone, that I will use to note things I observe happening between people. This often becomes quite inspirational for stories that I write, and you’ve likely read a few of them prior.

And even if this doesn’t sound appealing — know that it is among the better of the available options.

Behavioral scientist, Dr. Jonas Dora ran a study examining people’s coping mechanisms with boredom during their workday. He found that when bored, people were more likely to scroll social media — but that after doing so, they reported feeling more drained.

What’s amazing is that — boredom can be a fantastic creative tool. One study found that, during the lockdowns in COVID-19, some people found immense reward in pursuing creative outlets they hadn’t been involved in prior — taking up things like painting, knitting, and writing. It proved great for their overall wellbeing and mood.

When the pandemic hit, I had quit my job to become a writer just six months prior. It was an opportune moment for me to lockdown, focus on my craft and push content. It’s not to say that I’m glad the pandemic happened — but it was a reminder of the value of using so much vacant time for the better.

Lastly, it’s important to stay calm. The passage of time is a highly context dependent feeling. When you are stressed, time can feel like it is taking forever and induce state boredom.

For example, researchers had people with arachnophobia look at photos of spiders for 45 seconds without telling them how long they were looking at the spiders. Unsurprisingly, the participants tended to rate the passage of time as being significantly more than it actually was. This is why you often hear people referring to difficult but short events as being, “The longest 20 seconds of my life.”

In short, relax. Perception plays a huge role in the passage of time and can exacerbate state boredom. Sitting and lamenting that you are in a waiting room does nothing to help you be more patient.

If you feel you’re constantly bored, it’s possible you suffer from trait boredom. If you think you might, I strongly recommend seek therapy from a licensed therapist, as state boredom is a longer term problem related to self control, which can lead to depression and substance abuse.

A parting thought

I would remind people that being bored is a problem of luxury. I once went on a high school field trip to a local prison, as a sort of scared straight experience. And if there was anything I left from that experience with, it was that I loved my freedom.

Ask any prisoner who spends 20+ hours a day in a tiny prison cell what it’s like, and I suspect many will tell you how bored they are. They’d beg to have the life you have, walking out in the sunlight, feeling the wind on your face, being away from other men shouting in their cells all night, being able to choose what you eat for lunch, to use the bathroom in private, to call and visit friends when it is convenient. You have so many simple comforts that go unnoticed.

Take time to appreciate these things and be mindful of the incredible gift that life has afforded us. Sitting in that waiting room was never a huge waste of your time. The waste was your choice to be bored while doing so.

I’m a former financial analyst turned writer out of Tampa, Florida. I write story-driven content to help us live better and maximize our potential.