The two adorable six-year-old’s names dazzled brightly across their signs, which also declared their entry into second grade. They read, “Enjelickiagh & Rebekiagh”. It took me a moment to sound out the pronunciation before recognizing the familiar words: Angelica and Rebecca. And then I saw the comments in my Facebook group, dubbed, “That name is a tragedeigh”, a place where people cite the most unusual names they’ve seen.

Most comments were in various shades of confusion and disgust. The names in this group are extensions of a new parenting era. And part of me feels bad for the kids, as they had no choice in these names, and it was clear that a mob of people were mortified by them. Which is why I eventually had to leave the group. It felt like everyone was punching down.

The concept of a unique baby name isn’t inherently new — but it has taken on a new velocity, branching off into various paths that are leaving us adults tongue-tied.

Some are easy, though fairly new trends, such as the naming of siblings with the same suffix, which is particularly common here in Florida (Kayden, Brayden, Shayden, Mayden, etc).

Given my name, Sean, still results in someone calling me “Seen” once every few months, Starbucks baristas will have their hands full in the coming years.

It invites the question: what brought on this new trend. And how have name trends evolved over time?

The unique baby names of the past

There’s been more than one shift over the past 100 years in how babies are named.

From 1900 to 1940, Mary was the most popular first name for a girl while John held strong for men. Then, in the 1960s and 1970s, Jennifer dominated, before yielding the crown in the 1980s to Jessica. And for boys, Michael dominated from the 1970s until the early 2000s. Which checks out with my lived experience being born in 1983: I know more Michael’s than I can count, and have an uncle named John and an aunt named Mary.

Another interesting trend has been of the dominance of top names across the decades. In the 1900s, 91% of all children were given a name from the top 1000 most popular names. By the year 2000, only 75% of girls and 85% of boys were given a name from the top 1000. Parents seem more willing to experiment with girls names, perhaps for fear of male bullying.

It’s also important to make a distinction here with African American names, which began to markedly shift in the 1980s away from traditional Americanized names, and into more unique names. It was part of a cultural shift towards claiming one’s distinct identity which is separate from a tragic history tied to one’s lineage and, specifically, their last name.

But, to be clear, the use of unique names was already common in African American communities long before this, at 30% unique names in 1920, before rising to 60% in 1990.

The big shift in the 1960s

A huge cultural moment came upon us with the rise of hippies and protests against the Vietnam war. We saw great music and artists emerging from this social strife, and alongside it, an increase in the value on individualism which implicitly altered naming practices.

Additionally, we saw the full removal of children from the workforce, shrinking families, and deformalization of socializing, when we began addressing each other by our first names and less by title and last name.

This was also when parents gained access to data on popular names, and learned which names were being used more often, which led to a natural shift away from them. Some chose a happy medium, with a name that was known, but not overly-known. While others began making up new names entirely.

This trend then increased in the 1990s, when the Social Security Administration began publishing an annual list of the most popular baby names. These were constantly referenced by parents, who were wrestling with names to bestow and relying less on lineal naming practices.

Today, for many, a baby’s name is less about fitting in and more about standing out and the child being as special as the parent sees them. To some, these made up names can come off as irresponsible and jarring. Regardless, the trend is undeniable: we’ve shifted away from collectivism and towards individualism. The trend is accelerated by social media and is sweeping across the globe, as many from other countries will attest.

As of 2022 (the most recent list), the most popular names for girls four years running have been Olivia, followed by Emma. For boys, Liam has dominated for the past six years, with Noah coming in second.

As you might note, these names come and go out of popularity. So do not fret if a name is popular or unpopular now, as it will surely change in due time.

The conclusion on baby names

There’s no universal truth or best path on naming a child. It is surely one of the most personal decisions you’ll make. Remember that it is often informed by life experiences, and people you knew by those names.

For example, think of a person you wholly dislike from your past. Think of what they did wrong and why you can’t stand them. Now, consider this: would you name your baby that same first name? Most of you wouldn’t. That very idea is detestable for many of you.

Heritage matters too. Me and my sister, Shannon, were given our names as an homage to our Irish roots. My middle name, Joseph, is my dad’s first name. My sister shares my mother’s middle name: Marie.

Naming is a complex process and today, the choice of unique baby names is bigger than ever, which means parents are forced to be even more creative coming up with something truly unique. But just remember: choosing a unique name these days is in and of itself a form of conformity.

And remember that the names you provide a child can create enormous influence on their life, including the stereotypes that are imbued upon them. They can even predict career outcomes. For example, one study found that the more unique a person’s name, the more likely they are to pursue a unique career.

But ultimately, I always come back to this old rule that — a person makes the name, rather than the name making the person. The same is true of bands. Otherwise, acts like Live, Hoobastank and Imagine Dragons (which sounds like a Disney cartoon), wouldn’t have made it so far.

Think carefully as you name your child, and consider the impact these names might have on them. And also, resist the urge to judge those with different names.

And if the deed is already done, rest easy. Though people react strongly to unusual baby names, I still contend we judge people by their character long before we judge them by their name.