Did you hear about the Lions’ blockbuster trade last week? The one that sent quarterback Jared Goff — and a Barry Sanders autographed jersey — to the Washington Commanders for the No. 2 pick in the upcoming NFL draft. No surprise of course. Who in their right mind would keep the NFC’s passing leader around when J.J. McCarthy’s ripe for the picking? Biggest story of the year, we thought.

Until word came that the underwater moorings holding Mackinac Island is place had snapped, and it was about to collide with the Big Mac itself. So we grabbed our cameras and hightailed it Up North lickety-split. Because a photo of it smashing into a double-decker burger and splattering everyone within a 10-mile radius with special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, and onions — not to mention the world’s biggest sesame seed bun — meant guaranteed front-page above-the-fold placement.

And a Pulitzer Prize to boot!

We know what you’re thinking. Pure poppycock. Right up there with Arch Rock being moved to Adrian to become the new entryway to the Siena Heights University campus. Or Cedar Point’s “We’re dismantling the Corkscrew” announcement. Well boys and girls, welcome to the place we all know and love. The state capitol. Where the crazier something sounds, the more likely it is to be the real deal. And where expunging convictions has proven so popular that lawmakers can’t wait to take it to the next level.

And give nearly every con around a shot at freedom.

It’s no April Fool’s joke. Despite the prison population having plummeted 38 percent in the past 18 years, the mean, vindictive ol’ state still clings to the archaic notion that the 33,000 or so inmates who remain locked up ought to stay that way. How dare Michigan treat its best and brightest like that! Particularly when everybody knows that ten years behind bars is all it takes to transform them into model citizens who would never again resort to a life of crime. Why, think of all the good they could do if only some kind-hearted soul — like the judge who threw them in the slammer to begin with — would let them back out on the streets where they belong.

After all, even the most heinous felon with a rap sheet a mile long deserves a second look.

So say a group of House Democrats who spent the days before spring break touting what a wonderful, wonderful world it would be if all prisoners — except for mass shooters, because you have to draw the line somewhere — were allowed on the tenth anniversary of arriving at the hoosegow to dress up like Robert Hoover and take an all-expense-paid trip to Dean Woermer’s office — otherwise known as the sentencing judge’s courtroom — so they could pose the obligatory question.

Do you think you could see fit to give us … one more chance?

It’s all about redemption, forgiveness, and demonstrating that they’ll never again pose a threat to society. Because their brains are now fully developed. Not to mention the $48,000 per year the state will save for every person given the keys to freedom. Besides, judges don’t have anything else to do with their time, so why not troop in hardened criminals by the thousands for another a look-see?

Especially when there’s no such thing as a parole board that could do the same thing.

Backers insist it’ll save hundreds of millions of dollars by preventing crime instead of responding to it. Well, if preventing crime’s what they’re after, there’s a far easier way to do it. Decriminalize everything. But don’t say that too loudly.

It might give them “ideas.”

— Talk Back with Doug Spade and Mike Clement is heard every Saturday morning from 9 a.m. to noon Eastern Time on Buzz 102.5 FM and online at dougspade.com and lenconnect.com.

This article originally appeared on The Holland Sentinel: Talk Back: Michigan’s ‘get out of jail free’ card