In any war, the big battles get all the headlines. The war to save our planet from our collective depredations is no different. Eliminating hydrocarbons gets most of the headlines, but what about the little everyday skirmishes. Paper or plastic? (I forget which is worse today — but that might change tomorrow. Better to have our own cloth shopping bags which we can schlep back and forth to the store. Does anyone make these? Is there a business opportunity here? The bags could be bright green, emblazoned with suitable text to show everyone around you care.)

Skirmishes might not get headlines, but they add up. Unfortunately, without headlines to keep up the pressure, backsliding happens. Just a few years ago, as an example, the push for paper straws to replace plastic was in full swing. No more would innocent fish life choke on all those straws washing into our oceans. Alas, it’s been a while since I’ve seen a paper straw. They do disintegrate in the ocean. Sadly, they have a tendency to disintegrate in your drink as well. You can’t win them all.

However, little platoons fighting little battles march on. The other day, in a friendly neighborhood tap room, as I was sucking up my soda mixture through a plastic straw, I noted a most encouraging message on my styrofoam cup, to wit:

Biodegrades*

92% in four years

*Under conditions that simulate both wetter and biologically active landfills, using the ASTM D 5511 test. Wetter or biologically active landfills may not exist in your area. The stated rate and extent of degradation do not mean that the product will continue to decompose.

This was a first for me, and I cannot tell you how encouraged this made me feel that the proprietor was so considerate of his environmentally aware clientele that they could be assured 92% of their drink waste would be gone — maybe — in four years. However, there were some unsettling thoughts that coursed through my brain. What about the other 8%? Does that last forever, as the warning on continued decomposition seems to imply?

I live in the Low Country of South Carolina — this means swamps to those of you living high and dry — so I am surrounded by pretty wet and active landfills. However, should the ASTM D 5511 test really assure me? Is there a D5512 test, which might be better?

This helpful bit of information did lead to a lively discussion among the four of us, but the consensus seems to be, back in the old days, drinks were served in glasses which, while they don’t degrade, are reused practically without limit. If they are thrown away, they are nothing but melted sand, and we seem to get along fine with sand in the environment, (sand in the gears is another matter), even if it isn’t biologically active.

However, on sober reflection, which occurred later, even a drink glass contributes its own little bit to the destruction of the planet. After all, it takes a lot of hydrocarbons to make the glass in the first place. Once made, and served to a customer, it has to be washed. Water is consumed, and I don’t have to tell you how important it is to save water, do I, even if you live in a swamp? Cleaning products are also used, and more hydrocarbons as the glass is fed through a dishwasher which has to heat the water up to Board of Health standards.

So what is the environmentally conscious customer to do? First, don’t go out to have a drink. You would be much better off staying home and drinking tap water. Much cheaper, you don’t have to wash the glass, and furthermore you’re not burning hydrocarbons to get to the joint in the first place. (Those protesting that you’re driving an EV, and therefore are not using hydrocarbons, are operating under flawed assumptions.)

Ultimately it has to be very depressing to worship at the altar of environmentalism. No matter what you do, it only gets worse, and it’s all your fault.

— Charles Milliken is a professor emeritus after 22 years of teaching economics and related subjects at Siena Heights University. He can be reached at milliken.charles@gmail.com.

This article originally appeared on The Holland Sentinel: Charles Milliken: The battle to save our planet from us marches on