For the current middle-aged, middle-class generation there are three main signs that you’ve “made it”, according to one observant Telegraph reader. Apparently, the list is as follows: a house with bifold doors, a Rolex on your wrist, and the pièce de résistance, a Range Rover parked on the drive.
But get your tiny violins ready. That heated leather-seat dream may be over for many of the “Rangie” set before it’s even begun. In some parts of the country, they’re becoming too expensive for many owners to keep.
It always used to be the case that Range Rovers were the preserve of the wealthy upper classes, but the introduction around a decade ago of smaller and cheaper Evoques on £400-a-month PCP arrangements changed all that.
It meant the bifold door-loving, Rolex-wearing “mass affluent” crowd, who definitely couldn’t afford a £100k Range Rover Sport, were offered a realistic entry point to the brand.
They lapped it up. Range Rover sales boomed and there are now three times more registered Range Rovers in the UK than there were before the launch of the Evoque. Some models developed long waiting lists because demand so far outstripped supply.
With more than 415,000 registered vehicles on the road (up from 50,000 at the turn of the millennium) we became a nation of Range Rover lovers. Yet the brand is divisive, and whether these 4x4s are “in” or “out”, greatly depends upon which circle you mix in.
The aspirational mass affluent crowd love Range Rovers and view them as unequivocal symbols of success and status.
These fans sit alongside the original wealthy Range Rover-loving crowd who, unfazed by the middle managers and the regional lawyers driving around in their Evoques, remain smitten with the rugged off-road vibes of their larger models and their sumptuously comfortable interiors.
The brand’s stratospheric success has not been appreciated by all, to put it politely. Enter another breed of person who could be from any walk of life, but views themselves as discerning. They probably revel in being unflashy and may enjoy tut-tutting about Range Rovers being “tacky”, “vulgar” and fit only for drug dealers and other unsavoury (but moneyed) characters.
But their disdain for the brand is mild compared to the environmentalist crowd, to whom Range Rover is practically a swear word.
This lot see them as the ultimate, ostentatious, polluting symbol of mindless capitalism. Wretched “Chelsea tractors” which deserve to be pelted with rotten eggs and detested with absolute vengeance.
Although I can appreciate some Range Rovers (I wouldn’t be seen dead in an Evoque), they have never been for me. I knew a boyfriend in secondary school wasn’t “the One” when one day he came round for tea and announced that his goal in life was to own a black Range Rover Sport.
At the time my dad drove a sky blue Citroën Picasso with picnic tables in the back which, to me, was the best car of all time.
An inverted snob in the making, you might say, but fast forward two decades and, ironically, I’ve ended up driving a black SUV, albeit from a mid-market brand, and only because my toddler’s ridiculously large buggy would not fit in the boot of our old hatchback.
You may have guessed, but my lack of love for Range Rovers remains, not that I could afford one anyway.
And that’s lucky for me because they have, it seems, become a victim of their own stonking success – Range Rovers have become more vulnerable to theft than any other brand.
One in every 100 Land Rovers were stolen, according to DVLA figures analysed by confused.com from March 2022 to March 2023. This figure rose to two in 100 for Range Rover Velar R-Dynamic HSE D180 A, which was the most targeted model. Despite Range Rover thefts falling, according to new DVLA data released this week, they remain high.
As a result of this crime wave, some Range Rovers have become almost impossible to insure for many owners in London. This is more prohibitive to ownership than the theft itself. Annual premiums have soared to five figure sums in some cases, which is simply preposterous.
One 35-year-old woman living in London’s suburbs, with six years of driving experience and no claims, was reportedly told her Range Rover Velar would cost £22,515 a year to insure, and all but two insurers refused cover at all.
This is in contrast to drivers in Sussex, where 20 insurance providers offer quotes for the same model, with the best price offered standing at £1,978 a year, which at a tenth of the cost, is still a hefty sum.
Some insurers also insist on GPS trackers and cumbersome steering wheel locks, which many drivers feel are ugly and a downright nuisance.
And it’s not just the insurance which could seriously hurt owners in the pocket. Research shows Range Rover owners can expect higher and more frequent repair costs than owners of rival vehicles.
The brand was named the least reliable manufacturer in Warrantywise’s 2022 Reliability Index rates, due to the frequency and cost of repairs. Subsequently Land Rover (which includes Range Rovers) was also named as the second least reliable brand in What Car?’s index last year.
So where does all this leave the bifold door brigade, whose high mortgage repayments have just doubled due to interest rate rises, meaning keeping up with the monthly Range Rover payments is already causing sleepless nights?
The unfortunate truth is that for some, especially in London, these eye-watering insurance payments may spell the end of the middle-class dream of owning a Range Rover.
Those who choose to sell may face a double blow, as all the insurance drama has sent used vehicle prices downwards, meaning options for a replacement car may be limited.
A Nissan or Kia parked on the drive might not exude such elite success in life, but for anyone struggling but desperate not to downgrade just yet, some good news.
I hear the second hand watch market is booming, so if you can bear to part with it, you might get a good price for that Rolex.
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